Secret projects and dark places

I’m a generally happy soul. When it comes to my inner darkness my tactics generally involve shining a light on every part of it. I’ll hold it up to analysis until I’m happy that I understand where it came from and then I’ll forget about it.

With the release of my latest book this week it is plain to me that even my light romantic comedies have a dark edge to them. It’s something that’s apparent in all my books. There’s always a damaged soul, a sacrifice that isn’t quite worth the happiness. I think it gives my plots depth but its a subconscious thing. I don’t intend to write dark things, that’s just where the words take me.

This week I have also embarked on two TOP SECRET projects. To me this is immensely exciting. The rest of you probably think I’m nuts. One of them was inspired by an old friend who challenged me this week on the subject of my darkest thoughts. He said to me that it’s all well and good burning it away with sunshine and smiles but had I ever considered actually exploring it?

The concept terrified me. The thought of writing something that breaks all the boundaries of my self-repression, that challenges the things I know to be good and right and for which I strive…it doesn’t sit easy with me.

I wonder how many of us refrain from exploring our twisted underbellies for fear of being judged. Where would your mind take you if that fear was removed? How far would you push your boundaries of comfort? What dark corridors would you walk down? What deviance would you confess to if you knew that noone would judge you?

Kind of a fascinating concept don’t you think? And a dangerous one. Something once seen cannot be unseen. Once you’ve opened the Pandora’s box you can’t put everything back in it.

So will I take this journey into the night of my soul? Or will I be too afraid? IT’S A SECRET šŸ˜‰

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2 thoughts on “Secret projects and dark places

  1. I just woke in the middle of the night to finish Summer Loving! I love love love it! I wish I had read it tucked quietly away for a few days to absorb it more but, instead read it in the go. I giggled in the dentist office. I laughed at the cute French bakery and stayed up last night tearing through the “pages.” I know everyone loves a “Cinder”story but I loved the other side of it. The “keeping it authentic(or “real” as said in the US) part.

    Reading ‘Summer Loving’ and your blog reminded me that being authentically me is like breathing air. After years of “holding my breath, “(figuratively and literally) the most challenging part is knowing WHAT is authentically me. Is Elise free? šŸ˜‰

    BTW, I think opening that box…..your own Pandora’s, even after years of a measured life, isn’t nearly as frightening as discovering someone else’s very dark, dangerous and destructive box that shatters your world. That is a life changing experience(I just lived it). Open your box, know you, dark and light. Do it so that no one can fill in the blanks in your story because you know ALL that is there.

    Thank you for your book!!!I took a true journey in Summer Loving!

    • Wow, thank you so much for this comment. I’ve read it 3 or 4 times and it made me smile. I’m delighted you loved the book. It seems to have really hit a nerve with a lot of people and that’s been an extraordinary realisation for me. I write for the love of writing. I guess sometimes I forget how powerful words can be…that they encourage people to examine their own thoughts and feelings.

      It’s not something I talk about much on the blog, but I too learned hard lessons. Really hard, dark and painful lessons. I’m grateful for every one of them. The person I am now, the writer I am now, is a stronger, kinder and (I hope) wiser woman than the girl I was 8 years ago. Bravery is coming! It all takes time. I’ve never explored my inner darkness for fear of judgement. It takes a lot of courage to battle through your own self-repression. Sometimes I think I’m there and sometimes I shy away! I guess only time will tell.

      As for Elise, I imagine her to be free. I imagine her to be continuing her blog posts, exploring what it is that makes people tick and helping them break down the walls of their Pandoras boxes. After all, as her creator, there’s a little piece of her that will always walk with me šŸ™‚

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