You ARE somebody

I had a bit of a rant in the office this week. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it’s because it’s something I get really riled up about.

The subject of my fury this week was that ridiculous (and yet admittedly catchy) song from James Arthur, the winner of last year’s X factor. The title and chorus are “You’re nobody ’til somebody loves you.”

I call bullsh*t. Major bullsh*t.

What the hell sort of a message is that to give to young boys and girls? You’re a total nobody unless you’re one half of a couple, like people can’t be entire beings in their own right? Excuse me, but I’d defy anyone in all seriousness to tell me I’m a nobody just because I happen to be single. I am a well rounded being, fully capable of existing in a state of contentment without having a man around to define me.

I’m sorry, but if you have to define the essence of your being by someone else’s involvement in it, there’s something very wrong with your self esteem. That way lies depression. That way lies domestic abuse. That way lies a massive therapy bill. Feeling like you don’t exist as a worthwhile being if you don’t have someone to validate you is so damaging. Damaging and utterly ridiculous. Worse are those who believe that such a stupid statement gives them some power – ‘of course you’ll do whatever I tell you, because you’re a nobody without my love’. No-one should be defined solely by their marital status.

I get that it’s just a song, but frankly I feel the subliminal message it’s giving to this generation of the lost is just one more brick in the foundation of this crazy culture of lost identity and screwed up morals we have going on, particularly for women. The suffragettes would be turning in their graves. Why the hell have our ancestors spent so many years campaigning for equality just for society to turn round and fully endorse a song that’s relegated us to being defined by marital status again? It’s like we’ve stepped back in time 200 years.

Well screw you, music marketing moguls. I AM a someone.

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